jin character piece #16

[bipolyjack]

 beginning of s2 jinmarian for the soul. not gm approved lol. heads up for mild transphobia from jin's mom.

Jin towels their damp hair, dripping water on the bath mat. They always feel a little sticky after a visit to the mall. Probably a holdover from when their mother would take them shopping with her as a kid and tell them not to run their hand along the railings or touch any part of the escalator or sit on the dirty floors, and then insist on plopping them straight in the bath when they got home. She was very conscious about germs. 

Looking at themself in the bathroom mirror in their Elysium quarters now, at the scars they've been racking up in the past months, at the inhuman ripple of muscle in their arm when they raise a hand to push their wet hair off their forehead, Jin can't help but think that one day they're going to go home to visit their parents and be completely unrecognizable. Their mother is going to look at them the way she used to, when they first asked her to buy them boy’s clothes, with both perfect eyebrows arched like, didn’t I raise you better than this. She bought them the clothes, and she never said anything, not out loud, but Jin knew she was disappointed.

They’re prepared for that, at least. It’s always like that with parents. But it’s kind of nice that Marian has only known them the way they are now. It’s nice - freeing - to start without all that baggage of whoever the fuck they both were before.

They kissed Marian in the Hot Topic dressing room. It was kind of an accident, but also, it wasn't.

One second it's Marian in the doorway, blue hair a little messed up, a few strands over one eye, asking Jin what did they think of these jeans, turning a half-circle. Jin following them into the little room, letting the door shut behind them, Marian backing away with a grin, drawing them in with just the magnet-pull of that fucking irresistible smile. Don’t they know Jin’s full of metal.

The stall isn’t big. Marian takes three steps back and hits the mirror and then Jin’s right there up against them and Marian’s still grinning and there is absolutely no space between them anywhere except the fucking tiny sliver between Jin’s mouth and Marian’s mouth and now the smile is parted lips and a hot breath and now, only now, Jin is realizing how fast it all is, and they try to deflect away the inevitable by tilting their face so their temple comes up lightly against Marian’s cheek, high, almost at the corner of their eye, and they freeze there, waiting. Marian’s breath is on the lobe of their ear, Jin can’t fucking move, and then there’s the light brush of a hand at the outside of their elbow, just below the hem of their t-shirt sleeve, the brief electricity of bare skin, of fingertips, and Jin jerks just a fraction and Marian says “fuck,” breathes it out like it’s some kind of surprise when in actuality there’s nothing at all surprising about this, about literally any aspect of this situation, because Jin just can’t not be like this apparently. Can’t not be pulled in by magnets, not when they’re fucking full of metal from head to foot. 

And Jin gives up and takes Marian’s face in their palm and draws their two mouths into alignment and it’s so easy, it’s so, so easy, Jin can’t remember why they tried to stop this from happening in the first place. Marian tastes sweet, a little like blackberry, from the fancy stupid novelty ice cream they ate together twenty minutes ago, leaning on the railing of the mall’s second floor and watching people pass by down below.

(Jin dropped their lighter. Like their hands just didn’t want to hold it anymore.)

Marian’s hand is at the back of Jin’s head, keeping them anchored, them against Marian against the mirror. When they pull apart to breathe, Jin can just catch sight of their own reflection, open-mouthed and heavy-lidded, panting a little, and then they take in Marian, whose eyes are still closed, making them look young and vulnerable in a way that catches Jin completely off guard. And then their eyes flutter open and they’re looking at Jin the way Jin normally hates when people look at them, like they understand, everything, completely.

Except Marian does almost understand, actually, and that’s, fuck, that’s a weird one. Closest anyone’s ever come, anyway, besides. Besides. No, you know what, fuck him.

Fuck him. 

Jin wraps the towel around their hips, settles their glasses back on their nose, frowning as the lenses steam over immediately. They open the bathroom door and let the cloud of steam vent out into the cooler air of their bedroom. 

Maybe this is a bad idea, this Marian thing. But it’s so easy, and it seems like it’s been so long since anything was easy for Jin. Aren’t they allowed to want something easy for once?